Well, It starts... This will be the first time truly i will be living alone. Obviously, i've had my own place for awhile now, but joe was here. He left this afternoon and i won't see him again till this time next year. So it starts today and i think I'll be fine... I don't expect things to always be easy, so im ready to take on whatever life throws at me. I must say that i couldn't had a better roommate than joe. If i had to choose between all my friends to live with i would choose him. This is weird considering i've only known joe a year and everyone a lot longer. I mean he was always down for play games, he never argued or fought with me ever. Actually, me and joe only got into ONE argument and that was when we had a Halo party with everyone and it was in joking fashion over the game. It was nice that i could relax and never have to worry about him partying or being loud. For someone i only knew about 2 months at the time when we moved in, it couldnt have worked out better. I'll definitely look forward to him moving back in a year. Once and awhile i would complain that sometimes he didn't wash dishes, but who cares...The dude was a blast to live with!

With all that said, im kinda excited to have the place to myself. I'm out enough with people that i won't mind being alone when im home. Plus i got jersey around to keep me company and that's good enough. I guess this is what growing up is like. Who knew how exciting it can be to buy a vacuum or go food shopping. I enjoy cleaning and taking care of things, It definitely makes me feel more like an adult...Anyways, got some errands to do than having people over for Star Trek!

So i've been talking to this girl that i met about 2 weeks ago and so far she's been nothing short of amazing. She's a huge Tolkien fan and a huge fan of fantasy fiction literature. The past moth i've been reading a book on Norse Mythology and there really isn't anyone i can share this information with until now. She has studied Norse before, So i finally found someone who appreciated this. We also share passion for Lord Of The Rings as well & it seems like we share a lot of others things.

So i'm going to take the slow road with this one, Because i don't want a GF right now, but i do have interest in getting to know this girl and seeing where it goes. I' truley hoping that the next girl i fall in love with is the last, Because im sick and tired of having to put SOO much effort into something and having it fail then, Then do it al over again. It's beginning to become no fun anymore, So hopefully this will lead to something rare...

I want to start playing Warhammer again. I miss my bad ass LVL 30 Dark Elf :(

So these past 3 years have been very interesting when it comes to my dating life. I never seem to have a problem meeting women and getting them interested in me. I take pride in that fact that i know how to treat a girl and that i know that if it doesn't work out, It's had nothing to do with my effort and care. If i look at my resume on my dating life, it's something im proud of, because they are long lasting relationships, some ended in pure heart break and some ended ok. There was just one were i may have broken a heart, but hey I'm not perfect.

The last 3 years have been filled with up and down's when it comes to women in my life. I've stopped putting 100% effort into them and i've chose a lot of things over them which in the end lead to break up's. I never blamed them for the break up's and i took sole responsibility for it. I have always said that looks don't matter and that being picky isn't right. Well i have know come to find that my biggest problem with these previous relationships were, because i was physically attracted to them and i ignored the stuff i didn't like about them. The ones i really liked/loved and lasted longer, Were the ones that i was attracted to them and loved a lot of things about them. The brutal truth of it all is that being attracted to the other person physically and emotionally makes a BIG difference. It's seems to be easier to fall in love with someone you believe ie precous and beautiful. You NEED that challange to keep you on your heals and WANT to put in that 100% effort.

When it comes to likes/dislikes, You really have to like what she does, what she's interestes and most of all she's got to understand & WANT to be involved in the things you like. They say that opposite's attract, but i think theres a fine line in that message. When opposites attract, that allows both parties to learn new things and get involved into things they haven' t tried before. Sometimes, Those things are beyond your interest and you don't want to be involved in those things. I think it's better to have more things in common, then to have opposite likes/dislikes. I want the girl to enjoy watching a movie or even the hockey game. I'd love for her to wanna be outdoors and be active. I'd also love for her to want to meet my friends, but also want to spend time alone.

There's one thing i DO NOT want and that's for her to like Video games. This may see shocking, But video games are my escape from the world. When i play them, it's to relieve stress and any problems on my mind. That's not the onyl reason though. I have a passion for games and it's something me and ALL my friends have in common. If i let her get involved in my passion of games it could ruin it all. When you date someone, you create memories and emotions follow those memories. FOR EXAMPLE: When your dating someone you like/love and you do things with them, those things remind you of them. Like listening to a band during the relationship or when you guys are together these songs also play, Well if we break up that pretty much puts a damper on that album and it's gotta be put away for a long time. Well this goes the same for games. I'm not saying i don't want her to like games, I want her to accept them and make initative to want to join in. I just don't want her it for me.

There is someone new and right now i don't want a gf, But i will take this one slow and be friends until fate takes it's course.

I'm really looking forward to this summer, Especially spending 2 weeks in California and seeing a new area. I have a lot of stuff planned for myself this time around and i'm going to push myself to get them done. This is also my first TRUE summer living on my own, So I'll be able to have people over when i want and i don't have to ask the rents for permission.

I must say every since my dad was rushed to the hospital, I've become much closer to my family then i had been in the last few years. It's not that i never wanted to be close with them, But i think parents need to realize that at some point we need to venture of on our own for awhile and face the world without our parents. Plus being around them all the time and never having time to myself really put me on edge It's not their fault, it's just who i am as a person. I really enjoy having my time alone and not constantly having people around me.

In the last few months, a lot of events happened and those events really made me grow up..A LOT. I appreciate your family more in life, You'd rather avoid the people who constantly wanna argue and make everything a competition. You just want to be around people that you can laugh with and go out and try new things. You also want to spend more time around your family and think more about your future. I'm very greatful that i have a nephew and im truly proud of my sister and the EXCELLENT job she is doing with her son. That shows what kind of parents me and her truly have.

I usually don't write love poems or sad poems, But good writers always try new ways to express their feelings and the only way to become a better writer is to write something your not comfortable writing about. So after after a dream about someone, i decided to dig deep inside myself and write how i felt. This how it goes...

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I once loved you so much
And for so long.
Why did you leave
When I did nothing wrong?

Your smile was once the sun
On a dark, rainy day.
It would clear up the sky
And keep it from being gray.

Your eyes were once the shine
Of the world's glowing light.
Or were they the twinkling stars
That once filled the night?

Your hands once had power
To give me the softest touch.
They'd always give me a slight tingle,
Which is why I loved them so much.

Your hugs were once the medicine
That'd change a frown to cheer.
A shiver would run through my body
Every time I feel your love near.

Your kisses were once the wind,
They were fresh and breezy against my face.
They were gentle, so gentle,
It's something no one will replace.

But, now you like someone else,
And it's driving me insane.
Although it's over for us,
The love we had still remains.

And so I tell myself...
Never again will I cry.
You were once everything to me,
That I can't deny.

But I couldn't keep my promise
And broke out in tears.
The hours I've cried feel like days,
The days feel like years.

As I bury my face in the pillow,
And cry my heart out and grieve,
I've learned to never give away love
If love I don't receive.

But although I'll leave your side,
You'll be always on my mind...
My heart and soul will ache for you,
Every day and every night...

You're my never-ending love,
The love that keeps me alive...
You're the one I'll love forever,
Although it hurts inside...

Here is my first blog for blogspot & i'll just add this for the night.